Pages

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Inert

Ok guys..I am back..yes..straight after January ..post I wrote a poem when I visited Chennai(lol..can that be possible!!).This is my second blog post of the year and first , after I have become one of those extremely sought after desis in US.Why I didn't/couldn't write in these many months, in spite of tons of thoughts and new experiences crawling into head(some into my heart) is a mystery..well not a mystery though..come on..every genius has a writers block.And people who have known me, know how many blocks I deal with!!and of course I am "the genius".

Enough of bragging done..anyways no amount of self promotion helps if the product is not good- optimum to be precise.Let's see what I have to write for today..Not that I run out of topics..I have ample of them..US, India, Modi, Mamta, movie,mind,marriage, love, porn, sex, dhoka, dhokla, .forgive me the series in which I have stated the above words!! But writing becomes a challenge when you are confused about what to write and about whom to write.So for now I have finalized the main character of this blog to be me.Yes, I am highly narcissist and I deny to become an avtaar of goodness and motherly good.

Coming to the point,yesterday was really enlightening to me. I was reading through my old posts(to increase the page view count obviously!!) and it amazed me, how I have not changed!!Every time we go through a bad or good experience we bloat about how that changed our lives. We miss people who we think changed our lives, we miss the time, the place. Unaware of the superfluous nature of life and time, we think that events, people -they are so important they can change us.And we humans are really so inert to change , as soon as we realize that the change is against our thought process. However if, the change is "wanted" then we give it lot of nice and melodious names like marriage, love, friendship, new job, B-school, Investment banking,home etc etc.And this is specially true for narcissistic people like me who find greatness in believing that if a change happens, that should happen by my own choice and not accept anything on the fly.If something happens beyond your own control, then definitely that hurts the unknown, undefinable and obscure term called self respect. You tend to believe and pity yourself that "you have changed"!!
How I have behaved in the past years has been completely erratic..but as an analyst , as an MBA, as a consultant I am supposed to give a solution to anything and everything. I cannot run out of answers!!

So here comes the conclusion, that how much ever we try  or whatever be the situation, change is a thing that happens in its own sweet way, if it has to happen. If not,you still remain same,no matter how much you crib for it.Change is not something that you will be able to "experience", but it will just happen, for good or bad.It is only after several years that you can figure it out.And when life changing events/circumstances do happen in your life, you are too oblivious to them, specially if those are unwanted ones. You react in a totally different manner than expected and become kind of senseless, may be a way to bypass the time that is borne out of it(or may be the situation is borne out of time!!).You don't even know what you say, do, react, make others do.You are not in a position to..
Things just happen...there is no way you could have changed anything and hence the change in your inner self also just happens, there is nothing more to it and most other people will give a damn  that you are changing unless that actually decreases their incentives in some way or the other.