Thursday, March 19, 2015

Not grey, but black

Are there , or can there be pockets in your heart that no one knows except you? Not complete black holes, because you know they exist , and some of them have really been forceful enough to change you for life. Some things you would really like somebody knew!
This has happened to me many times and I am sure happens to others also. I have thought meticulously and lovingly of gifts that I would like to give to someone(sometimes even bought them), I have composed my feelings into well crafted words to be communicated to someone, I have planned of activities to be performed with certain people, all of which never happened nor will they ever happen.No one knows, but I have shared those experiences with those people which never took place in real.The people- friends, relatives,more than friends, they still exist but they never have come to know what I had gone through.
And so they are my black holes..some of them being so dark and long that I can't take the risk of peeping into them. Not that all of them are sorrowful, yes some have been so joyous like when you discover your child walking for the first time..but nevertheless,  humans, at least most humans  remember mainly the sorrows.At least people who cannot legitimize the reason of sorrows and that what should not have happened to them remember sorrowful black holes more than joyous black holes.One of the reasons I started writing , long back, and in those times , on pen and paper is that I wrote letters to several people to whom I had something to say.People and god(well I used to be a strong believer once) who made difference in my life . Some of those feelings could have been actually communicated though , but back those days I was not so infused with skills of saying something in well packaged manner.And also, somethings could not be told. But yes, I don't want any corner of my heart to be un-revealed to no one.Not necessarily single person should know it all, but at least some things to some people..those things which have changed me, those people who have made impact on me..shouldn't there be at least one other person who knows about it? Or may be this blog or some bundle of papers?

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