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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Mercy

Oh ,Time have mercy on me!
Let me bear my own burdens;
Leave me alone and solitary,
Let me understand myself and nurse my wounds.
Thy care is more lethal
Than those cold winds that have pierced through my heart;
Thy love is killing,I survived because of thy betrayal.
Yes,I am scattered, broken and hurt,
But yet I seek some hope, some unknown desires
I seek some forgotten melodies,some left over dreams
But I hate thy good wishes and thy prayers.
Now ,I have known thee and life seems
Timeless,foolish and empty
Yet I am satisfied without thee,
I have my life's meaning,I am happy,
Time,have mercy on me!!

Music of Silence

The smoky air seems to be pale,the meadow is silent,
The trees- bowed with their burden,
The grasshoppers,the nut crackers are all patient,
The soothing breeze has found its way through the lane.

The cloud has just lifted the moon's veil,
And the stars peep through the silken texture,
Looking like diamonds studded in the dark apparel,
In which the sky is wrapped with lustre.

And from this darkened depth of the sky,
Sometimes strips of blue fall in the waters beneath,
They temble in the waves, bound by their fate to born and to die,
But remain eternal ,making the dull waters lit.

The creatures that animate the scene
Are now in the dreamy lands;
The path has been untrodden for hours,that has been
A little before the way to home for thousands.

The isolated yellow leaves are moving here and there
Against all odds of the roughness of the earth,
The fragrance of sleepy buds feels the air,
Eagerly waiting for the dawn,when they will take birth.

All creatures,big and small are resting
In the cradle of nature,
Nature herself,tired and worn out,panting
With the burden of the new civilized culture.

The colours of nature are dull,
Her brilliant lights are dim
She is there to nurture and to lull,
With all her affection fiilled upto the rim.

It seems as if time has become motionless,
There is neither a shout,nor the clattering of rains,
As if all senses have become feelingless
It is perhaps the music of silence.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Classleep

Today I slept in the class.This is not the first time that I have slept off in the class.Infact this is the fourth time.Previously twice I slept in Vedanta class and once in Sociology class.But today's exclusivity lies in the fact that I slept off when I was sitting on the first bench and I slept off in my most favourite professor's class.Truly I can only say that humans have no limits!!!I was dozing from the very beginning of the class but then finally I could not control myself.Thankfully the span was only for 2/3 minutes when I was waked up by a series of pinches by my friend sitting next to me.And lo!!! then again I started thinking.And I was thinking what not!!I was thinking about one of my closest friends.Suddenly I was transformed to those days when we used to go around Nandan,Academy,Rabindrasadan.I was really missing everything.Perhaps memories are somethig that are never lost unless you get amnesia.And in that respect my memory has been very sharp,something on which I can really boast.I remember every single event of my college life,I mean life at Jadavpur.Our campus,the long green road that led to our campus,the untrodden path full of bushes which used to be my favourite path which I would take instead of taking the main road,Bhoktoda's canteen,the xerox centre ,everything.I remember the xerox centre which used to be so over crowded just before semester.And sunilda,the lab assistant and offcourse teachers.I remember KM's dogs who would religiously wait for KM to come to the campus and bring buscuits for them.They were like an indicator to us to know whether KM is in campus or not.And then my friends!!!who can forget the holi day when sometimes we would be drenched in colours and sometimes flee from the backdoor without getting a drop of colour on our dresses.And then ,when for no reason people can tear off your dupatta!!!perhaps the most happening thing!! Our classroom,assembly hall,the stair cases,I miss all of them.Things lost cannot come back.We can only think that "agar aisa hota to kya hota",so was I.Thinking of all the possibilities that could have happened if I did something other than what I did.May be I would not have been here at this point of time.May be I would not have been at SCMHRD!May be this blog would have never existed.But then things were to happen in the way they have happened.So I am here,sleeping in class of Prof Prantosh Banerjee,getting lost in thoughts and finally ending up in writing the same classnotes twice.Thankfully I didnt get caught.Who knows may be someone was there who wanted to take me back to those days and yet dont get caught....

Friday, December 19, 2008

If Possible...

Someday I shall travel the path not travelled
I shall regain all that was lost
Someday, all truths will be unravelled
And I shall return to those whom I have loved the most

Someday, I shall comeback
Like a comet that astonishes everyone
Like a meteor that shines brightly in the sky rack
And then, falls again, to make true the wishes of someone

Someday I shall say all that was unsaid,
And the memories will be lighted up
Everything will be remade
Joyful moments will overflow in life’s cup

Wrapped in gold, chained in silver
Those memories were forgotten never
There was always a ray of hope, a cherished desire,
To make them stay forever

The container of life has always been full
Sometimes with hope, sometimes with despair,
With colours of grey and green, bright and dull,
With things that haunt me, with loss, with fear

All the unanswered questions still befuddle,
Someday I shall answer them all
Someday I will find a solution of the puzzle
And comeback to myself, to all

Rejoice

I was walking down the street
When all at once I saw a bunch of flowers
Amongst the world of concrete
Hiding themselves in their narrow bowers
Their face was pale, bathed with dust
Their stems bowed and humble as if,
They have submitted before the modern gust
Of the new world and they are tired of it
They have many stories untold
And to listen to those there is none
They bloom, they wither away and sometimes get soldIn the market of penny by some
Yet they are happy and content
And feel indebted to the sun and the earth
For their unique endowment
And their prestigious birth
And as I looked at those coloured creatures
I was pursued by an unknown feeling
They made me rethink my manners
As I saw them dancing and singing

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Cold

Yesterday I caught cold or better to say cold caught me.I was sitting in my boring class room,but from no where did come a cold breeze.It was intelligent enough to have found me from among all the people present in the class as most of the times I feel my presence in the class is minimal.And I have chosen to be so.Certain things are not worth it in certain places!!!!Yes it may seem that I lack admiration for this place which is true.But what can I do if something does not deserve it,neither by fate nor by quality!!!!So I dont think I am gulilty of not respecting the educational institution to where I belong.But belongingness is actually so vague!!Just like this cold breeze which touched me.I dont know why ,but I felt so much belongingness for this one.It came as though to take me to some very familiar world.I felt happy yet sad.Before I could realize,my eyes felt the humidity although I was smart enough to wipe it off in time before anybody could notice.But yes there are very few people who "notice" things and even fewer who after "noticing" react.So even if I would not have been this efficient in feeling my wet eyes and taking the corrective action,it would not have been a problem.
But yes,why,why did I feel so?I was reminded of something so close,something so own.If it is so much close to me and if I have the ownership then howcome I was not able to recognise what it was actually?Just a vague picture of a long road,with green trees on its sides...a wet road..fragrance of wet mud.hot tea in the clay pots !!!Tea in clay pots is actually amazing-it maintains the correct temperature both at the surface and at the bottom so that when you take the sip,the tea is not that hot,at the same time liquid at the bottom is very hot.Simple scientific solutions!!And on top of that the taste of tea really comes good.The only disadvantage being sometimes the pots have holes.Just like everything in life has a loophole!!!
But why am I speaking of loopholes?Loopholes are meant to be there so that big problems can passs through them easily.So we should admire the presence of holes and loopholes in our lives.
Anyways,I was speaking of that breeze.Now a days I have become such lazy tha I suffer from amnesia.So I could not decode what it was only because I could not remember or else I did'nt want to?So atlast we,friends had a nice walk around our campus,did some stupid talk(which incidentally is the chalice of happiness ,here at SCMHRD because we have very few joyous moments here) and in turn forgot what message that breeze wanted to convey.Oh!!Again amnesia struck me.So I completely forgot and lazily got back to room.
Perhaps certain messages are best left undecoded.

Lesser Mortals

This evening when I was struggling to understand the Financial Management class some weird ideas were just striking me .I know I should have been more attentive towards studies but as usual I was not.Somehow it takes a lot to make me listen to any lecture for hours unless it is very interesting.And once the flow of thoughts starts I just cannot resist it.
However coming to the point, I was remembering my maid at home..back in Kolkata.I suddenly thought that how inept I am in doing certain things in which she is such an expert.Then I thought that what does it take to a person to learn something?Is it necessity or fate or habit or interest?Take the case that I become inattentive in most of the classes..so how do I increase my attentiveness..how do I become so attentive that once I listen to the class,it becomes imbibed in me?
But to be serious,we humans, are so gifted !!!!we are experts in defaming and undermining others capabilities .Some people can be happy thinking that other people are the lesser mortals.True..some people are, but in only certain aspects.Does it not mean that they are superiors in other aspect?Atleast my maid reminded me of this.She may be illiterate.She may be ugly(which off course is an inherited aspect).But she has a logical mind..whcih enables her to survive in this world spending less money on hospitals and more on necessities ,inspite of being a "lesser mortal" .Then I was reminded of my friends.I have had friends who have been far more intellectual than me and others who are not.But then does it mean that I am less in anything or are the others?No.Because our life's logic is best understood and executed by ourselves only.We do not expect any outside intervention and do not intend to listen to any hefty ideas in this respect.
So how does the logic work?It is perhaps a real time simulator that gets inputs as love,hatred,betrayal,friendship,relations and what not..all kinds of scrap things.Then it converts all these to a logical output that enables us to survive.So is'nt the mechanism really wonderfull?
or we are actually WONDERFOOLS not to have recognised the immense potential each one of us has.So I may be the ugliest ,funniest and stupidest,but still I can be the best.God save those souls who spend infinite words and time to criticise the lesser mortals.