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Friday, December 3, 2010

Changing Distances

Well...we do not notice so many things and so much is around us!!!This is perhaps so much clichéd dialogue .One of my friends who knew me very well, used to tell that almost all the times I am in an almost lost state and that I should see the different colours around when I walk through. And this I realized so much few months back, while taking a tour in Pune. Why I am writing this post now, after so many months, bears a special significance. The fact that post my surgery, I am not able to commute on my own by public transport like bus or rickshaw and the fact that I was almost in house arrest for about 3 months, this journey becomes so important to me.

Pune is the city where I had stayed for the last two years, made new friends, lost some newly made friends and gained some lifetime friends .So about this city, I should have known every detail. That day I decided that instead of taking an auto, I should walk. Not only I had this vested interest of regaining some of my lost gyming activities but also I didn’t have any proper company, so had to think of some healthy way of spending more time. So FC Road, JM road, SB Road...I walked for almost four hours. Surprisingly the roads appeared much broader....my perception or reality??I could see every small thing- the TOI office, the various big and small restaurants, the old beggar sitting by the corner, the middle aged barber, I could see all. Attention, is something which only if you want to pay, you pay. The same reason I can never pay attention in any of my classes (of course with the exception of few intellectual ones).So I never paid attention to all these things...may be they appeared too trivial for me or because I had visited these places always with a bunch of friends who were enough to drag my "bechari" mind into more chit-chat .But that particular day I was not into all these. I could leverage on my loneliness perhaps!!But this was not all...I had more take aways...the most important being..as I travelled the roads..I could feel the effort that went into it..my legs paining..and as I reached my destination, with every small milestone achieved...the satisfaction of achievement was perhaps much more..the satisfaction of getting something by my own...and then I realized that where our life takes us..that’s why every work that I do by myself makes me feel important, my existence reasonable.

The last few months I have not been doing much of physical work because of health limitations and that really hurts. Every instant when I have to ask for help to lift my laptop or get a bucket of water or pick up something from the ground, I want time to pass more quickly. It is true that now I don’t have that excruciating pain which I used to have because of my illness nor do I have that much of weakness and I am recovering. But I always tend to ask to some unknown entity that how much more time to get back to my own self? I know 5-6 months in life is not much of dependence, but it gives you lifetime perspective. So may be in next 2-3 months I will be again able to venture in the streets of Kolkata, enjoy the mouth watering Phuchkas and as I walk through, bargain with each bangle and ear rings shop.

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