Wake up!!

Wake up from eternal sleep,wake up before drowning,
Wake up to see the world so mesmerizing.
Search yourself in the air around,
Search yourself in the green ground.
Look into your mails ,twitter and  facebook ,
Listen to a story, read a book,
Wake up to reply to watsapp messages
Wake up after silence of ages.
Stand up to your courage and belief,
Reach to your dreams , forget grief.
Listen to a song, dance to the rhythm,
Sweat to complete the run with them.
Wining might not be an option,
Have faith in your own opinion.
Light up the room,burn out the candles,
Enough you slept, no more mishandle,
Brighten your day, let the air flow in,
No more failures in driving test again.
Steer your way,take the lead,
Its time to get back to work, to succeed.
Walk up to those who love you,
Drink a beer or two,and let it go,
Smile a ton, and travel back,
Unleash life , unfurl,unpack...

The Unsaid Lie

Say it for once,
Say it for the last time,
Say it till her patience lasts,
It's good to lie sometime

Your eyes betrayed your words,
Your lips shattered your truth,
She still awaits to hear it from you,
Bring her some peace, make her soothe

You had your moments,
You still, will have those,
Let her listen to the lie for once,
Get her ready to lose

Say it for the first time,
And yes, for the last time, ever,
For the sake of her silence,
For the sake of  time forever..

How I wonder..

When I see the long path in front of me,
The same path trodden again and again,
How different does it feel to me!
Now that I will never walk on it again

When I see those small thatched houses,
And the big moon rising above them
How wary I used to be of peeping glances,
The windows and dim lights within them!

When I feel the earthy fragrance around me
The fragrance I got so used to,
How far I have traveled from that overwhelming spree!
And still there's a destination I need to reach to!

When I feel the piercing cold,
In my arms, feet and  inner self,
What else remains to unfold?
Now that I have raged a war with myself

When I see the colors ahead of me,
And then the moistened grass, black and green,
How much do I urge to search for peace , may be,
May be go back in a time machine?

When I see in the future,bright and colorful,
Why does it appear so confusing...
When I lean back and look the past , so deceitful,
Perhaps known evils are still so falsely reassuring!

Yet I keep on walking down the new lane,
Its brightness blurring my eyes,
Trying to keep steady and sane,
Before arrival of the final goodbyes

Inert

Ok guys..I am back..yes..straight after January ..post I wrote a poem when I visited Chennai(lol..can that be possible!!).This is my second blog post of the year and first , after I have become one of those extremely sought after desis in US.Why I didn't/couldn't write in these many months, in spite of tons of thoughts and new experiences crawling into head(some into my heart) is a mystery..well not a mystery though..come on..every genius has a writers block.And people who have known me, know how many blocks I deal with!!and of course I am "the genius".

Enough of bragging done..anyways no amount of self promotion helps if the product is not good- optimum to be precise.Let's see what I have to write for today..Not that I run out of topics..I have ample of them..US, India, Modi, Mamta, movie,mind,marriage, love, porn, sex, dhoka, dhokla, .forgive me the series in which I have stated the above words!! But writing becomes a challenge when you are confused about what to write and about whom to write.So for now I have finalized the main character of this blog to be me.Yes, I am highly narcissist and I deny to become an avtaar of goodness and motherly good.

Coming to the point,yesterday was really enlightening to me. I was reading through my old posts(to increase the page view count obviously!!) and it amazed me, how I have not changed!!Every time we go through a bad or good experience we bloat about how that changed our lives. We miss people who we think changed our lives, we miss the time, the place. Unaware of the superfluous nature of life and time, we think that events, people -they are so important they can change us.And we humans are really so inert to change , as soon as we realize that the change is against our thought process. However if, the change is "wanted" then we give it lot of nice and melodious names like marriage, love, friendship, new job, B-school, Investment banking,home etc etc.And this is specially true for narcissistic people like me who find greatness in believing that if a change happens, that should happen by my own choice and not accept anything on the fly.If something happens beyond your own control, then definitely that hurts the unknown, undefinable and obscure term called self respect. You tend to believe and pity yourself that "you have changed"!!
How I have behaved in the past years has been completely erratic..but as an analyst , as an MBA, as a consultant I am supposed to give a solution to anything and everything. I cannot run out of answers!!

So here comes the conclusion, that how much ever we try  or whatever be the situation, change is a thing that happens in its own sweet way, if it has to happen. If not,you still remain same,no matter how much you crib for it.Change is not something that you will be able to "experience", but it will just happen, for good or bad.It is only after several years that you can figure it out.And when life changing events/circumstances do happen in your life, you are too oblivious to them, specially if those are unwanted ones. You react in a totally different manner than expected and become kind of senseless, may be a way to bypass the time that is borne out of it(or may be the situation is borne out of time!!).You don't even know what you say, do, react, make others do.You are not in a position to..
Things just happen...there is no way you could have changed anything and hence the change in your inner self also just happens, there is nothing more to it and most other people will give a damn  that you are changing unless that actually decreases their incentives in some way or the other.

Midnight Travelouge

Is it a fall?
No it's a journey.
But isn't it downhill?
Yes.It is...it's a long walk and it allows to come back and meet again..where you left.
But still.It's a fall.Won't you say it?
No.You can come back and this time uphill.
But uphill is difficult?What if you can never come back?
Well..there's always a place in between..in the woods..where the road turned away to  denser greens
Do you have a company?
Yes..I have..at different times.
Do you seek someone?
No.I seek something.
And did you ever come across it?
Yes. Quite a few times..it's just that it never allows itself to hold..it flows away..you know..just like that river that flows by the hillside.
And you still seek it again?
Yes.My work is to search..until I get tired..till I am there.
Till you are there?
You see..I may be ..I may not be..sometimes things are not meant to be like what you would believe,or at the least want to believe.
Isn't it confusing?
No...It's surprising!
And what's that you see far down the hill?
That's  life..
And what's here..uphill ..where you start?
That's also another life..
And what are you ..and the others?
Well..we all are just mediums of transfer.
For The Thing you seek?
Yes.It is and it never ends here.

Like waves..

It's not about big things you could have done

Or petty things that you do,

It's not about the achievements- there might be none

Neither about the failures - some of them you might not even know!

Day in and day out you might find yourself,

Trapped in sarcasms, betrayals, loss,

And yet, continually rediscover yourself,

Like those relentless ocean waves...

There are people you wanted to be with,

And people whom you never urged for,

And yet you find yourself in a cozy realm to be with

It is because, it's you, whose identity makes it worth for.

You are free to fall and arise again,

And follow your own path – the one which still lies afresh,

And the one that has been trodden, again and again,

The more you like it, pain of fall is less

The satisfaction of being oneself

It's a hard earned treasure,

No repents, no compromises and nothing that haunts yourself,

Freedom, they say, is a gifted measure

Needless to say but...

Not that I am too emotionally overloaded particularly because of the Delhi rape case. But certainly the views that have come up in open in the past one month makes me write again on this. Yes I am overloaded because of the alarming situation. This is not a stray case, our national capital has also been the rapist paradise for years now and slowly other cities are also catching up. From my Delhi friends as well as my stay for few months in Ghaziabad and various adjacent areas, I do know how women cope up there. As a woman living various phases of my life in Kolkata, Hyderabad, Pune, I have also faced eve-teasing and have learnt to consider the security factor, always. Villages aka Bharat is sill safe or they say so, just because Police stations are far away or actually non-existent, and people don’t report most of the cases because "izzat ka sawal hai".Not that these views of politicians, media, spiritual gurus(high on spirits) and common man, including me, were not at all known before, but certainly the nation seems to react now. And hence comes my second post on particularly the topic of why girls should not provoke guys, should not stay late, should not party, in short , stay back, stay out of the mess to avoid getting trapped in the mess.

After reading through various channels, what I discover is the main reason behind these people telling the women to dress properly or "behave" is that they feel today's women's actions titillate the man. The man with his innate carnal desires and unadulterated innocence is simply not able to control his feelings and ends up eve-teasing, molesting, and raping. Now in most cases it is seen that girls who are perfectly decently clothed get raped. So this has to be definitely 2nd order titillation. So this bechara guy, who generally comes from the uneducated, socially deprived background, comes to a modern city, sees lot of micro-mini clad girls and gets provoked. He knows he cannot get most of these women. But simply because these women have done the crime of provoking the guy, now that he is turned on, he ends up raping another girl who has nothing to do with this "inviting" nature of girls. Now that brings me to question few things:

1. If wearing lesser clothes is provoking etc, then would the TV commercials stop showing skin for the ads of every single product on earth. Be it deos, briefs, cookware .
2. Would guys give up their share of watching porn to keep them away from all ill-effects?
3. Would movies be banned for showing rape scenes and item numbers that increase their viewership to manifolds’?
4. Would all adult movies be banned?
5. Would Internet be censored?

Even all this doesn’t ensure completeness of the theory.Titilation may be different for different people. And guys may have their own interpretation of whether a woman is inviting or not. Some common theorems are:

1. If a woman is wearing skimpy clothes, she is inviting. Even if she says "No", the first interpretation is above all
2. If a woman has had multiple relationships in her life, with some of them even intimate, she is definitely slut.Hence inviting. Are relationships and forced ones same?
3. If a woman is staying late at night, if she is a party hopper, she is inviting. Well the premises of night are strictly not meant for girls who don’t want to get raped. The vice versa is also true.
4. If a woman is a single woman-unmarried (post the standard age of marriage), divorcee (oh!!That’s why!!), widow (unlucky one) that is w/o a legitimate male owner, then she must be inviting.
5. If she does not "listen", if she is adamant, if she is helpless(hence needed some help), if she is working late nights, if she is a boss' favorite, if she has got a promotion too soon, even, if she tries to be a man(hence needed to be reprimanded).....the list is endless.Also cannot help asking if a slut not have the right to say "No" ?

Agreed on the fact that 90% of our population comes from the economic and social "have not" category. They neither have the enlightened thought processes like us-the middle class or the access to every possible luxury on earth like the rich. But this provoking theorem makes only these “have not’s” take the onus of being lecherous and ill charactered.Have we forgotten Priyadarshini Mattoo case? Don’t the "high profile", "born pub trotting" men happen to see girls around them in skimpy clothes all the time? Then what titillates them? Or they are immune to all kinds of frustration and brutality?

 

Now come on, man and woman have always mutual attaction.Thats normal. A man may like a woman or vice versa. But then it’s important to understand and respect her "No". If we are to make an impact and make our surroundings more secure, we need to be inclusive of the 90% also. And changing the way girls look, dress, behave, just not to make the "have not" guys shocked, doesn’t solve the problem. There is no end to it. For a man who has bad intentions, irrespective of the fact whether they come from village, are not accustomed to see city girls or whatever, clothes and all are external factors and there can be thousands more. These cannot be controlled. What can be controlled is improving the framework of security, judicial system and providing a better atmosphere at home, better and sensible education.